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peterjones3000
Oct 153 min read
Why I-statements are divisive: Time is Short Version.
I write this blog-essay after seeing that the New York Times has amplified some very cliched and unsupported advice for couples in...
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peterjones3000
Sep 1013 min read
"I" statements are divisive: Fuller Version.
Preface: This blog-essay is a first-pass response to some bad advice that we keep hearing out there. With regard to audience, it's...
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peterjones3000
Feb 272 min read
The Binocular Vision of Couples Therapy
Couples therapists are at their best when they take a binocular (double-lens) view of you as a couple during therapy. We need to look for...
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peterjones3000
Oct 28, 20236 min read
The Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse; or: "We Said".
I write these blogs mainly to help new couple therapists identify problems they can help their clients notice and understand. Some...
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peterjones3000
Sep 16, 20234 min read
"I want to work on communication"
Note: I write these blogs as a consultant to therapists wanting to start working with couples. But there is also a take-away for couples...
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peterjones3000
Feb 13, 20232 min read
From Rupture To Repair
Ruptures and repairs are made of the same things: interactional moves or their absence. ▾ A rupture is caused by any threat-raising move...
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peterjones3000
Dec 21, 20227 min read
The Purpose-Driven Fight
•Q: My boyfriend and I are writing you together. We get in fight after fight. Is fighting like cats and dogs a sign of incompatibility?...
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peterjones3000
Oct 11, 20223 min read
Still Doing the First Fight?
• What couples remember as their first fight is the first time they got shaken out of the ceaseless protection from the world that their...
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peterjones3000
Sep 7, 20225 min read
One success is enough.
Dear Peter: Q: Call me Nora. When Sam (also a pseudonym) and I get started on something we disagree about, it starts ok, we seem to...
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peterjones3000
Jul 23, 20221 min read
The body is an alarm system.
The body-mind is an alarm system. A couple must know what sets off each partner's alarm system, and what disarms it. If you or your...
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